This month we have been getting really serious about our budget. We have been trying half-heartedly for about a year, but with unexpected car repairs (my husband was in an accident...he is fine!) and a recent slew of medical expenses (unrelated to the accident) that has completely wiped out not only our emergency fund, but our vacation savings as well, we have decided to get very serious about it.

I sat down one night this weekend and looked through our bank statements and jotted down every single bill/debt/expense we currently have. I put all of this in a spreadsheet and started doing the math. I then sat down with my husband and went over every single thing that could be negotiated or dropped altogether. The first thing we landed on was a cell phone bill. We currently had a plan that gave us more data than we could ever use (we're talking 10GB more that never got used each month). One 10 minute phone call later and our bill was reduced by $53.

Next we moved on to our phone and internet service. We very rarely use our land line, so this seemed to be a logical thing to cut. We called our provider and, again, in 10 minutes had our land line removed. This will save us $55 per month. The hardest part of this was just calling all of the doctor's offices, etc. to have our primary number changed.

In addition to these two reductions, we started looking at other ways to cut our monthly bills. We focused on our garbage service next. We were paying $21 a month for our service. To be honest, we were becoming very dissatisfied with our provider as they would often go 2-3 weeks without even picking up our garbage. They would always cite equipment problems as the reason. We let that slide for about 3 months (much longer than we really should have), so we called other local providers to get their rates. We switched to a provider that was cheaper and also had a better reputation. This saved us $4 each month. This took about 20 minutes.

We then moved on to our cable provider. We have not yet gotten to the point where we are wanting to cut the cord entirely but that might be coming soon. My husband is a wiz at negotiating rates with service providers. He has some tricks of the trade that work practically every time (would you guys like a post on that?). After talking to them for about 20 minutes, we were able to reduce our bill by $30 a month.

We had also been paying $40 a month for supplemental home owner's insurance. This was supposedly going to cover all of the little things that our original home owner's would not cover like any appliance that might need to be repaired or replaced and also had a lower deductible, so we thought that it would be worth it. Rant Alert: About 3 months after signing up, we had the perfect opportunity to use said insurance. Our downstairs AC unit went out...in the midst of a southern heat wave, no less. It took the company who contracts with the insurance provider 5 days to even come out to diagnose the issue. He replaced the thermostat and put freon in the unit. He said that he had to order a part and that it would be another two weeks before he could even order it! We then decided to contact another local company to come out on our own dime. They were at our home within 24 hours of calling. The first guy had wired the thermostat incorrectly when he replaced it, so the vent was putting out hot and cold air at the same time. He had also put way too much freon in the unit, which we were lucky that it did not completely destroy the unit. Twenty minutes, a drained unit, and one very small part replacement later, we had AC. We were able to get a refund from the insurance for the cost of the second repair. We waiting for the check to clear and immediately cancelled the insurance. This only took 10 minutes on the phone to cancel but it did cost us about 4 weeks worth of hassle. So that saved us $40 a month.

Summary:
Cell Phone Service:             10 minutes = $53
Cut Land Line:                    10 minutes = $55
Switch Garbage Providers:  20 minutes = $4
Cable Provider:                    20 minutes = $30
Cancel Insurance:                10 minutes = $40
Total:                                    70 minutes = $182

In addition to calling providers to reduce our monthly expenses, I have also taken up couponing again. I went overboard the first time by playing the drug store game and going from store to store to save a few cents (thank you Extreme Couponers!). Also, my youngest was not yet born when I began so I had a little more time to find and clip coupons and drive all over town. I think that I will take a little easier this go-round, but if I can shave $10-$20 off of each grocery trip and focus on getting toiletries for free or next-to-free, I can save roughly $30-40 each month while also maintaining what little sanity I have left.

Also, since it is summer, I have decided to start shaving heads in my family! I am the only person in the house without a Y chromosome, so I am bringing out the buzzers! That will save us about $60 every 5-6 weeks. Also, I am pretty low-maintain when it comes to my hair. I get my hair cut short once a year and then just let it grow out until my next annual salon visit. I do not color my hair, so I do not have that expense either.

So, there you have it. After a long, hard look at the budget, some time on the phone and a little creativity, we were able to reduce our monthly budget by about $277!

What are some ways you have reduced your monthly expenses?

The Day a Backpack Made Me Break Down

 
Today as I was dropping my six-year-old child off at school, I frantically looked around while my stomach turned to lead. I had forgotten to put his backpack in the car this morning. It had been a busy morning and, somehow, I had packed everything else but had forgotten one of the more important items that was needed for the day. I had managed to remember it every school day for eight whole months but, today, I left it hanging on the hook where it usually rests right next to the front door, packed with a snack and all. I shamefully told my son that we (more accurately, I) had forgotten his backpack. He looked upset, but said "it's okay Mom."

I knew how he felt because, as a child, I was exactly the same way. I was easily upset and something like forgetting a backpack was absolutely devastating. But he handled it better than I thought he would. I, on the other hand, absolutely lost it once he was out of the car. I broke down. How could I forget his backpack? It is not like this was something new. We have been doing this the entire school year. What was wrong with me? I am a horrible mother!

It took me until I got to work to regain composure. While sitting in the car trying to get to the point where I could pass off my red, puffy eyes as seasonal allergies, I began to reflect on what had happened. Why in the world would something as relatively benign as forgetting a backpack bring out the emotional nut-job in me? I mean, it is not like I left a child at home. I had all children with me, all were fully clothed and I had even managed to feed them. So, what was it about a stupid backpack? He is in kindergarten. Backpacks are ancillary.

I then realized that it was not the backpack that had me in tears, it was the feeling of being a failure as a mom. We are not supposed to forget things, we are supposed to have our stuff together. Let's be honest, we are supposed to be perfect. Whether this comes from our own beliefs or gets thrown at us from every aspect of our society, mothers are not expected to make mistakes. No pressure there.

As moms, we typically do a lot to make sure that our family is functioning to it's highest ability. Making sure the kids are dressed and ready for school, making sure lunches are packed, the house is clean, and there is dinner on the table, making sure that everyone is still breathing at the end of the day, just to name a few. It does not matter if you are a stay-at-home mother or work inside or outside the home. It gets overwhelming. To loosely quote an Everclear song: we "always try to be everything to everyone." The problem with this is that we simply cannot be everything to everyone. Also, in trying to do so, we tend to neglect our own needs. We forget to eat (or do not eat very healthy - I cannot tell you how many times I have stuffed a drive-thru burger in my mouth while driving because I did not have time for a "real" meal), we can never seem to find the time to exercise, we cannot remember the last book we read that didn't rhyme.

The backpack was just the straw that broke my proverbial back. You go for so long doing everything for everyone else at the expense of your own mental, emotional, and sometimes physical health. As a counselor, we often remind people of the rules of being on an airplane. In the event of an emergency, apply your own oxygen mask before attempting to assist anyone else. You must take care of yourself before you are even capable of taking care of others.

You are not selfish for wanting to have some alone time. Your family will not suffer if you lock yourself in your room and read for an hour (unless you have no one else to watch them. In which case, please make sure the knives and bleach are out of reach first). And, if you find yourself feeling like a failure sometimes, cut yourself some slack and remember: if everyone is still alive at the end of the day, you did a good job!

Now, time to take my own advice. I am booking a massage!

Please feel free to share any insights or wisdom you have for moms (or dads) who are feeling overwhelmed.

This weekend was Mother's Day. I am not really a fan of the holiday as I think that we should show moms appreciation all year rather just one day. But that might just be me!

Nonetheless, I thought that in honor of the holiday, I would share some of the things that I experienced just this weekend that further supports my point of being appreciative of moms all year.

1. I cleaned up a lot of pee from the bathroom floor because my six-year-old waiting just a little too long to run to the bathroom. It's okay though because he did "get a little in the toilet."

2. My 18-month-old decided to get a washcloth out of the drawer and proceed to dunk it in the toilet. Once completely soaked, he put it in his mouth. I had to chase him around to get it from him while he giggled maniacally. Then, of course, I had to clean the entire floor as the toilet water had dripped everywhere.

3. I had to scrape a dried-up booger off the bathroom wall because my six-year-old ran out of toilet paper and decided that the wall was the next best thing.

4. My 18-month old, who normally loves mashed potatoes, suddenly decided he thinks they are akin to poison (however, he is not above putting a cloth soaked with toilet water into his mouth) and immediately spit the potatoes into his hand and spread it through his hair. He then had a Grand Mal tantrum when I took the remaining potatoes away.

Yep, just a typical weekend.

You know that magical fairy who comes in the night and washes the dishes and puts them away (gasp - all of a sudden there are clean dishes in the cabinets), who washes and dries all of the clothes and hangs them in their respective closets (oh my - a closet full of clean and pressed clothes ready for work and school!) and who tidies up the kitchen and living room so that no one trips over toys or steps on the dreaded Lego? Well, I have a secret...that fairy is me (shhh).

I do all of the housework and everyone goes about their days completely ambivalent as to what it takes to make sure that they have a clean house as well as clean clothes and dishes the next day.

But you know what? It is completely my fault.

Before my husband and I got married, he could cook, clean, wash and iron his clothes, and even knew how to mend them. He had lived on his own for years and was fully capable of taking care of himself. In fact, this was one of the things that made him attractive. However, as soon as we got married, in my eyes he became completely incompetent. He loaded the dishwasher the wrong way and didn't put the dishes up in the right spots. He didn't fold the clothes correctly. I even remember fussing at him once for vacuuming the wrong way (!?!?). He could not do anything right. And can you guess what happened? Yep. He stopped doing anything. And what's more, at that time, it was fine with me. If I did it, it got done the right way (i.e. my way).

I made him feel inadequate and incapable of performing the tasks with which he was actually willing to help me. Now that we have two boys and the housework is piling up in ways I could never imagine (I do two to three loads of laundry per day!), I have found myself burnt out and silently begging for relief. At first I would actually fuss at my husband for not helping. This was always met with the (very truthful) statement: "You won't let me help!" Ouch.

Can you believe that it actually took me a few years to piece that one together and realize that I had done this to myself? He started out helping, I alienated him and nagged and complained with each task he attempted, always telling him how it should be done. Now he doesn't help and I have the audacity to complain about it! Wow. That is sad and embarrassing to admit. We have since had several fights discussions about the housework and, swallowing my pride, I admitted that I was wrong and asked him to please help out whenever he could.

Because honestly, after ten years, two kids, and working full-time, I really don't care how the chores get done as long as they get done. Life will go on with a less-than-perfectly loaded dishwasher and the sun will rise if the shirts aren't folded exactly right.

So take it from me, before you complain about how your partner does something around the house (unless the house is in danger of being burnt to the ground while they attempt to cook dinner), remember: There are worse things than a husband who doesn't do chores exactly how you want them. For example, a husband who doesn't do chores.

Okay, I have owned up and confessed to the absurd things I have complained about. Now tell me: What ridiculous things have you yelled at your significant other about?

How I Plan to Cut our Gift Budget by 75% This Year

I have a somewhat large family. Each year, we celebrate no less than 15 birthdays. Then there are other gift-giving holidays that we celebrate like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, and Easter. And then, of course, there's Christmas. Also, as my oldest son is now school-age, we are being invited to more parties for his classmates. Needless to say, our gift expenses are quite large.

Over the past year, I have been trying to be more vigilant with our finances and, as part of that quest, have been looking for ways to greatly reduce how much we spend on gifts. I still want to provide the recipient with a thoughtful, quality gift, I just do not want to pay full price for it (or pay for it at all)!

So, here is my plan:

Take Surveys

I have discovered several wonderful survey sites you earn points for completing surveys. Once you earn a certain number of points, you can redeem these points for gift cards (such as Amazon) as well as having cash sent to your PayPal account. I began about a year ago and so far I have earned roughly $500 just from taking surveys. Some of these surveys also ask that you complete tasks for them for additional incentives. For instance, this past Christmas I just had to log my shopping habits for a month to earn an additional $30. I have even had some send me products to try for additional incentives. I will admit, taking surveys does take a little bit of time, but the good thing is that you can devote as much or as little time as you want (after all, every little bit helps). I have found that if you can devote about an hour or two a few days per week, you can earn some decent rewards.


Here is a list of all of the survey sites that I have used that have the best pay out:

• SwagBucks
• I-Say
• My Survey
• Opinion Outpost
• Inbox Dollars

Scan Grocery Receipts

There are several apps for smartphones that allow you to earn money by buying certain products (that you would typical already purchase each week, such as milk, bread, bananas, cereals, etc.) and scanning your grocery receipts. Some items are brand specific while others are not. Since I began using these apps, I have earned a total of $150! Just for buying groceries and scanning the receipt! Some of these will send you a check once you reach a certain amount and others will let you redeem for gift cards (like Amazon and Starbucks) or have the money deposited in your PayPal account.

These are the apps that I use:

• Ibotta
• Checkout51
• Saving Star - this one is actually linked to your loyalty cards, so when you purchase a qualifying product and scan your card it automatically credits your account.

Handmade Gifts

This year I have also decided that I would attempt to make some of the gifts myself. I have never been delusional enough to think of myself as being crafty or creative, but with the help of Pinterest and my unhealthy addiction to craft stores (not exactly sure how that works since, you know, the creative ineptitude mentioned earlier!), I have actually been able to pull off some pretty simple, pretty inexpensive gifts that actually look good.

For instance, I made this wreath for my mother and grandmother last Christmas

I purchased a couple of grapevine wreaths, printed out some black and white photos, and used some 2x3 silver frames that I have collected over the years and attached them to the wreath using floral wire. Full disclosure: I bought a premade burlap bow rather than trying to tie one myself. Although it would have been cheaper to do so, the time, effort, and frustration it saved me was priceless! I found the idea for the wreath and the instructions here.

The entire project was actually quite inexpensive but does not look as such. Also, the fact that it is personalized (I used photos taken with my grandmother in her wreath and photos taken with my mother in hers) and sentimental, it was the perfect gift.

I have a ton of DIY gift ideas saved to Pinterest. I would love to have you stop by and check them out.

Shop Early and Shop the Sales

It is the beginning of March and I have already started shopping for Christmas! I keep an eye out for clearances and sales and make gift purchases all year long. For instance, now is a great time to find winter items on clearance as stores are making way for spring and summer items. I just recently purchased a few fleece pullovers from The Children's Place for $10 total. These will make great gifts for Christmas or for birthdays that occur later in the year. I also make a run through the toy aisles at Target occasionally to browse the clearance items that I then stockpile for birthday party gifts for my son's classmates.

I have done this for a couple of years now and have learned a few things. First, this is a great way to get awesome prices on things like clothes and toys. Second, this is A LOT better than making a run to Target on the way to a child's birthday party and paying full price for the first toy you can grab! Third, this can get out of hand if you are not careful and at least somewhat organized! I cannot tell you how many times I have lost track of what I have bought and ended up with way too many gifts. The upside is that you can always put them back for future gifts but this can get tricky if you have toys that are very age-specific or children's clothing that is a certain size.

For this reason, I have created a monthly event tracker on which I write down every gift-giving occasion. This helps me know who I need to buy for and when they will be receiving a gift.

Here is what I use (I like having the full pages to help me really visualize the events):

Jan-Apr

May-Aug

Sept-Dec

Then, once I purchase a gift, I log it into my Gift Inventory spreadsheet that I created in Excel to keep track of them. This prevents me from overdoing it and helps me remember what I have purchased (because keeping track of a small gift you bought in March for a Christmas gift is practically impossible!).

This is my Gift Inventory:

So hopefully with all of these resources combined, I can drastically reduce the amount of money I spend each year on gifts.

Also, I would like to know what you do to reduce your gift budget.