You know that magical fairy who comes in the night and washes the dishes and puts them away (gasp - all of a sudden there are clean dishes in the cabinets), who washes and dries all of the clothes and hangs them in their respective closets (oh my - a closet full of clean and pressed clothes ready for work and school!) and who tidies up the kitchen and living room so that no one trips over toys or steps on the dreaded Lego? Well, I have a secret...that fairy is me (shhh).

I do all of the housework and everyone goes about their days completely ambivalent as to what it takes to make sure that they have a clean house as well as clean clothes and dishes the next day.

But you know what? It is completely my fault.

Before my husband and I got married, he could cook, clean, wash and iron his clothes, and even knew how to mend them. He had lived on his own for years and was fully capable of taking care of himself. In fact, this was one of the things that made him attractive. However, as soon as we got married, in my eyes he became completely incompetent. He loaded the dishwasher the wrong way and didn't put the dishes up in the right spots. He didn't fold the clothes correctly. I even remember fussing at him once for vacuuming the wrong way (!?!?). He could not do anything right. And can you guess what happened? Yep. He stopped doing anything. And what's more, at that time, it was fine with me. If I did it, it got done the right way (i.e. my way).

I made him feel inadequate and incapable of performing the tasks with which he was actually willing to help me. Now that we have two boys and the housework is piling up in ways I could never imagine (I do two to three loads of laundry per day!), I have found myself burnt out and silently begging for relief. At first I would actually fuss at my husband for not helping. This was always met with the (very truthful) statement: "You won't let me help!" Ouch.

Can you believe that it actually took me a few years to piece that one together and realize that I had done this to myself? He started out helping, I alienated him and nagged and complained with each task he attempted, always telling him how it should be done. Now he doesn't help and I have the audacity to complain about it! Wow. That is sad and embarrassing to admit. We have since had several fights discussions about the housework and, swallowing my pride, I admitted that I was wrong and asked him to please help out whenever he could.

Because honestly, after ten years, two kids, and working full-time, I really don't care how the chores get done as long as they get done. Life will go on with a less-than-perfectly loaded dishwasher and the sun will rise if the shirts aren't folded exactly right.

So take it from me, before you complain about how your partner does something around the house (unless the house is in danger of being burnt to the ground while they attempt to cook dinner), remember: There are worse things than a husband who doesn't do chores exactly how you want them. For example, a husband who doesn't do chores.

Okay, I have owned up and confessed to the absurd things I have complained about. Now tell me: What ridiculous things have you yelled at your significant other about?

How I Plan to Cut our Gift Budget by 75% This Year

I have a somewhat large family. Each year, we celebrate no less than 15 birthdays. Then there are other gift-giving holidays that we celebrate like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, and Easter. And then, of course, there's Christmas. Also, as my oldest son is now school-age, we are being invited to more parties for his classmates. Needless to say, our gift expenses are quite large.

Over the past year, I have been trying to be more vigilant with our finances and, as part of that quest, have been looking for ways to greatly reduce how much we spend on gifts. I still want to provide the recipient with a thoughtful, quality gift, I just do not want to pay full price for it (or pay for it at all)!

So, here is my plan:

Take Surveys

I have discovered several wonderful survey sites you earn points for completing surveys. Once you earn a certain number of points, you can redeem these points for gift cards (such as Amazon) as well as having cash sent to your PayPal account. I began about a year ago and so far I have earned roughly $500 just from taking surveys. Some of these surveys also ask that you complete tasks for them for additional incentives. For instance, this past Christmas I just had to log my shopping habits for a month to earn an additional $30. I have even had some send me products to try for additional incentives. I will admit, taking surveys does take a little bit of time, but the good thing is that you can devote as much or as little time as you want (after all, every little bit helps). I have found that if you can devote about an hour or two a few days per week, you can earn some decent rewards.


Here is a list of all of the survey sites that I have used that have the best pay out:

• SwagBucks
• I-Say
• My Survey
• Opinion Outpost
• Inbox Dollars

Scan Grocery Receipts

There are several apps for smartphones that allow you to earn money by buying certain products (that you would typical already purchase each week, such as milk, bread, bananas, cereals, etc.) and scanning your grocery receipts. Some items are brand specific while others are not. Since I began using these apps, I have earned a total of $150! Just for buying groceries and scanning the receipt! Some of these will send you a check once you reach a certain amount and others will let you redeem for gift cards (like Amazon and Starbucks) or have the money deposited in your PayPal account.

These are the apps that I use:

• Ibotta
• Checkout51
• Saving Star - this one is actually linked to your loyalty cards, so when you purchase a qualifying product and scan your card it automatically credits your account.

Handmade Gifts

This year I have also decided that I would attempt to make some of the gifts myself. I have never been delusional enough to think of myself as being crafty or creative, but with the help of Pinterest and my unhealthy addiction to craft stores (not exactly sure how that works since, you know, the creative ineptitude mentioned earlier!), I have actually been able to pull off some pretty simple, pretty inexpensive gifts that actually look good.

For instance, I made this wreath for my mother and grandmother last Christmas

I purchased a couple of grapevine wreaths, printed out some black and white photos, and used some 2x3 silver frames that I have collected over the years and attached them to the wreath using floral wire. Full disclosure: I bought a premade burlap bow rather than trying to tie one myself. Although it would have been cheaper to do so, the time, effort, and frustration it saved me was priceless! I found the idea for the wreath and the instructions here.

The entire project was actually quite inexpensive but does not look as such. Also, the fact that it is personalized (I used photos taken with my grandmother in her wreath and photos taken with my mother in hers) and sentimental, it was the perfect gift.

I have a ton of DIY gift ideas saved to Pinterest. I would love to have you stop by and check them out.

Shop Early and Shop the Sales

It is the beginning of March and I have already started shopping for Christmas! I keep an eye out for clearances and sales and make gift purchases all year long. For instance, now is a great time to find winter items on clearance as stores are making way for spring and summer items. I just recently purchased a few fleece pullovers from The Children's Place for $10 total. These will make great gifts for Christmas or for birthdays that occur later in the year. I also make a run through the toy aisles at Target occasionally to browse the clearance items that I then stockpile for birthday party gifts for my son's classmates.

I have done this for a couple of years now and have learned a few things. First, this is a great way to get awesome prices on things like clothes and toys. Second, this is A LOT better than making a run to Target on the way to a child's birthday party and paying full price for the first toy you can grab! Third, this can get out of hand if you are not careful and at least somewhat organized! I cannot tell you how many times I have lost track of what I have bought and ended up with way too many gifts. The upside is that you can always put them back for future gifts but this can get tricky if you have toys that are very age-specific or children's clothing that is a certain size.

For this reason, I have created a monthly event tracker on which I write down every gift-giving occasion. This helps me know who I need to buy for and when they will be receiving a gift.

Here is what I use (I like having the full pages to help me really visualize the events):

Jan-Apr

May-Aug

Sept-Dec

Then, once I purchase a gift, I log it into my Gift Inventory spreadsheet that I created in Excel to keep track of them. This prevents me from overdoing it and helps me remember what I have purchased (because keeping track of a small gift you bought in March for a Christmas gift is practically impossible!).

This is my Gift Inventory:

So hopefully with all of these resources combined, I can drastically reduce the amount of money I spend each year on gifts.

Also, I would like to know what you do to reduce your gift budget.

You may have noticed some new products links listed on My Messy Bliss. I just wanted to take a moment to say that all products being listed are those that I have purchased and that I thoroughly enjoy.

I have been trying to personalize my new Filofax and have been sucked into an accessory abyss. I have ordered stickers, Washi tape, and pens (I am absolutely in love with the '80's Glam Sharpies that I purchased).

Of course, I needed something in which to put all of these new accessories. I found that this travel cosmetic bag does the trick. I'll admit, it was a little flimsier than I wanted, but it works great when it is stuffed full of accessories (so now I have an excuse!).

As you can see, I have a place for all of my pens and Sharpies as well as my Washi tape, page flags and tabs, and other goodies.

But why stop there?! I also needed a way to carry all of this! Luckily I had an Organizing Utility Tote from Thirty One (anyone else addicted to these things?!) that fits everything perfectly.

 I have my Filofax and accessories ready to pick up and take with me whenever and wherever I may go!

Tell me: 
How do you organize your planner and accessories? I am always looking for great new ideas!

Monthly Bill Tracker

One of the goals that I have set for myself regarding the family budget is to always pay a bill as soon as it arrives (whether it be by mailing a check or using our bank's bill pay option). This has always helped me keep our bills in order and (mostly) ensure that I do not forget to pay one. One of the things that helps me stick to this goal is having a Monthly Bill Tracker. I write down the name of the company, when the bill is due each month, as well as the amount (averages for bills like electricity and water, which vary from month to month).

It helps to have something to look at to see how much money will be going out at what point during the month. This also helps me to ensure that I keep enough money in our checking account to cover each bill when it becomes due. The Bill Tracker can be placed in a home management or financial binder or can be hung up in a home office or command center.

(I have two versions: a more serious version and a playful version. If I can lighten up bill paying, I am going to do it! Both of these can be downloaded and printed for free.)